


Bring me light

by TheUnsungFangirl



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, like very light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 12:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11509626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheUnsungFangirl/pseuds/TheUnsungFangirl
Summary: After a big epiphany Yuuri is left anxious and unfocused in training; because Viktor will never feel the same. Or will he?





	Bring me light

Viktor has been watching Yuuri train for the better part of an hour now and it was painfully clear that the other’s mind wasn’t into it. Right at this moment he watched as his trainee fell once again after overspinning a jump he usually does perfectly and winced as the younger man crashed onto the unforgiving hardness of the rink. He quickly took of his protectors and rushed to Yuuri’s side, who was still lying on the cold ice while whimpering softly. “Yuuri! Are you okay?” he said frantically as he gently helped the other up. “What’s wrong with you today? It hasn’t even been an hour and that’s already the fifth time you fall.” Yuuri blushed and averted his eyes, his face a mixture of guilt and embarrassment. “I… I just didn’t sleep well last night, is all…” he murmured, his blush deepening. It wasn’t technically a lie, it just wasn’t the whole truth either. The whole truth about what the younger skater realised just the night before and what Viktor was never to find out.

   


**Yesterday…**

Yuuri just returned to his room with his skin still hot and slightly damp from his earlier trip to the Onsen and didn’t bother to turn on the lights after shutting the door. Every muscle in his body ached from Viktor’s rigid training and he let himself fall onto his bed with a soft groan. It took a few moments for his eyes to adjust to the darkness that was only broken by the soft light of the moon filtering through his curtains. His eyes fell on the framed picture that stood on his bedside table. It was the only picture of Viktor he had left in his room, after he took down all his posters in a hurry. It was a selfie the Russian took of them during one of their trips to the beach, their hair ruffled by the cool sea breeze and both beaming into the camera. He remembers that day vividly, still hears Viktor’s excited laughter as he chased Makkachin along the beach and still smells the mixture of salty fresh air and plainly… Viktor as the older man leaned close to take the picture.

Viktor intended to post it on his Instagram but Yuuri stopped him and instead persuaded him to make a print of it for themselves. The moment had felt too intimate and too precious to him to share it with the whole world. Yuuri sighed, noticing the warm and tingly feeling in his stomach that appeared whenever he was with the other man. He never felt this way about anyone before and it was quite confusing. His admiration and hero worship of Viktor has slowly morphed into something else since he arrived in Hasetsu and became Yuuri’s trainer. They became… friends and the other got to see more and more quirks and little imperfections of the world famous skating legend that was Viktor Nikiforov. And the better he got to know the other, the more he came to like the other for his personality. Of course it didn’t hurt that the Russian was even more beautiful when he was laid back and dressed in casual (but still ridiculously expensive) clothes. Yuuri’s eyes were still fixed on Viktor’s smile and his arms that were wrapped around the younger man’s body and his heart began to flutter thinking back on the warmth he felt radiating from the other back then. Yuuri had been thinking about his friend a lot lately but the final realisation still him like a punch in the gut. He suddenly made sense of all his stares, all the flutters and flips his heart did whenever it came to the silver-haired man. Yuuri Katsuki was irreversibly, completely and helplessly in love with Viktor Nikiforov.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

This couldn’t be happening. He just couldn’t be in love with Viktor. It would ruin everything they worked so hard on. Yuuri felt an anxiety attack slowly creeping up on him, his breath becoming erratic and his heart threatening to beat out of his chest. Viktor can never know about this. If he found out he would leave and he would hate Yuuri. The world seemed to close in on the young man, the rising panic and anxiety rendering it nearly impossible to breath. Yuuri wanted to call for help but he couldn’t risk alerting his trainer, so he decided to get through his attack alone as the tears started to stream down his reddened cheeks. He finally managed to calm down nearly half an hour later, feeling exhausted but being unable to sleep. His thoughts were still racing and although he finally got his panic under control, he was still freaking out. He was so scared of losing not only his chance of a comeback but, even worse, Viktor. Yuuri again felt tears well up in his eyes and a small sob escaped him. He put a hand over his mouth in shock to stifle the sound of his crying. He couldn’t let anyone see him in this state, least of all Viktor. He knew he was in for a long and sleepless night and he was worried sick about facing the silver-haired Russian tomorrow at training after his realisation. How was he going to pretend that his heart wasn’t swelling in his chest whenever Viktor smiled at him? That he never met anyone as beautiful and kind and perfect as him, on the rink and off it? That he never felt happier than when he was with him? While he didn’t know how yet, he knew he had to find a way to hide it. Because if Yuuri knew one thing, it was that he would never be able to cope if Viktor left. He couldn’t let him leave, he just couldn’t…

   


“…ri. Yuuri? Yuuri!” Victor’s frantic and worried voice finally registered in the smaller man’s upset mind, making his eyes clear up as he turned his head to look at the other man. “V-Victor,” he whispered as if only just realising the other’s presence. His eyes widened and his face grew even paler as all the emotions he so desperately tried to bury once again threatened to drown him. He tried to take a breath but all he managed was a weak gasp as he felt the all too familiar panic rise again. Fuck. He was so stupid to believe he could ever hide it. Just looking at Viktor’s eyes made it impossible. He barely heard said man ask him if he was alright but the mere sound of the other’s soft, concerned voice only served to worsen his anxiety even further. He needed to bring some distance between himself and the other and freed himself from the other’s gentle grip with a jerk. However, when he tried to skate away he lost balance and fell to the ice once again, this time not finding the energy to get up. Viktor was at his side instantly, kneeling on the cold ice, all hurt eyes and flailing hands, unsure if it was alright to touch him. It was obvious how much he cared. As a friend. Yuuri reminded himself bitterly. He will never have feelings for me but… when he treats me like this, he makes I so hard for me to remember that. To his horror and dismay the younger man felt hot tears welling up in his eyes and streaming down his face, unable to stop them as his heart felt like it broke into pieces right then and there. His breath caught in his throat and he felt himself becoming dizzy from panic and lack of oxygen. Yuuri did not hear his trainers quiet cussing and tries on calming him down over the steadily increasing cacophony in his head. He vaguely felt a soft, cool touch on his cheeks but it was not nearly enough to pull him from his state, the noise in head now being utterly overwhelming and the world around him growing darker by the second. And suddenly, everything went quiet.

Yuuri opened his eyes, which he didn’t realise he had closed, and saw Viktor’s face right in front of him. It was this moment that he finally registered the feelings of soft, dry lips on his. He stilled in shock before flushing furiously, as he began to comprehend what was just happening. His attack was forgotten as he tried not to die from embarrassment as the Russian pulled back to look at him sheepishly. “I uh… I didn’t know what to do to help...,” he murmured while scratching the back of his neck and looking everywhere but Yuuri. Said man was still trying to figure out what just happened. Viktor Nikiforov kissed me. On the mouth. Oh my god, what am I going to do now? He realised that while he was trying his best to order his thoughts Viktor had kept babbling along to apologise and explain. Without thinking he put his lips over the other’s still rapidly moving mouth to shut him up, surprising them both.

Yuuri felt Viktor go tense under his touch and after a few seconds, he heavy-heartedly decided to end the kiss. Just as he did so, he felt the silver-haired man’s arms grip his waist pulling him back against the other’s firm chest and into another kiss. Finally, they were on the same page, kissing each other with growing intensity as Yuuri cupped Viktor’s soft cheek. Soon the Russian licked at the smaller man’s bottom lip, who opened his mouth eagerly to grant the other entrance. Their tongues danced around each other in a deep kiss until they had to break the kiss for air. They were both panting faintly as they looked at each other with soft smiles on their faces. “I… I never thought…” Yuuri whispered. “Never thought what?” the other asked as he gently caressed his cheek. “That … that you feel the same way,” was said so quietly that it was barely heard. Viktor simply pulled the younger man into another deep kiss. When they broke apart he looked at the other intently. “Was that was this all was about?” Yuuri just barely nodded, a blush creeping onto his face. “I didn’t mean to worry you like that I swear! I just… I … I’m sorry,” he mumbled but Viktor was having none of it. “You have nothing to apologise for Yuuri! I’m sorry you had to worry so much about my feelings for you! But don’t you worry anymore because I will keep reminding you of them every single day!” Victor grinned and pulled him into another passionate kiss before starting to pepper Yuuri’s face in butterfly kisses while the other couldn’t help the happy laugh bubbling out of him.

Life, in a way, now seemed much brighter.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading my story! I hope you enjoyed it and don't forget: Kudos and Comments are love and mean the world to me! :*
> 
> Have a great day!  
> A


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